Divorce is a painful situation. It is a point where a couple could no longer tolerate each other’s presence and their strained relationship is already affecting their family life. While splitting up may be the right decision for many people, couples with children usually have a hard time dealing with the challenges of divorce. One of the biggest challenges for divorced parents is assuring the children that things will get better in time.
As a parent, it is natural for you to worry about your kids and how they will cope with the divorce. This is a difficult time for children because it can be quite stressful and confusing. Because of uncertainty, divorce can cause children to act up and be angry at both parents. This can be unsettling but with enough patience, you can work things out.
Experts say that providing routines that your children can rely on will help them adjust to the new setup. Maintaining a friendly relationship with your ex is a good idea too because children seeing their parents in constant conflict can scar them emotionally.
But what do you tell your kids in this particular situation? It is normal for parents to not know what to say to their children about their divorce but to make things a bit easier for all parties, it is best to be prepared before you start talking to the kids.
1. Tell them the truth.
The truth will set you free and this is applicable even when you are talking to your kids about divorce and the adjustments that need to be made. Your children have the right to know why you have made such a decision and being honest will make the conversation a lot lighter. You can simplify your reasons by saying that you and your ex could no longer get along. While honesty is important in this conversation, ensure to avoid blaming your ex in front of the children.
2. Assure your children that you love them.
Divorce can cause uncertainty for kids and it can even lead to them thinking that you no longer love them. Assure them that you do because this will ease their worries.
3. Tell them about the new setup.
A part of the conversation should be discussing the new setup with them. This includes how you and your ex will spend time with them. You can assure them that you will still help them with their day-to-day activities such as preparing their meals or helping them with homework. You should coordinate with your ex to make the transition easier for the children.